I generally hate my writing work immediately after it goes into beta reads, whether that be a writer friend, an editor, or call me neurotic, but especially when it is officially published for the general reading public.
I’ve been sharing my writing work publicly for nearly twenty years and I still get nervous about feedback and reviews. Even when I know I’ve done a pretty darn good job, there is sometimes that unsure inner voice. I’m guessing that it never fully goes away unless you’re a bestselling author with thousands or millions of adoring fans – and even then. I’ve heard a number of those kinds of authors say they’re still inflicted with this particular disease, this writer’s psychosis or neurosis or whatever it is. But, really, I mean, how could one not feel complete validation if that many approving minds were in agreement of the quality of their work? I suppose it could come down to for whom does one create the work? We all say we do it for ourselves, but were that merely the case, why publish it for the general public? Since I believe most writing to be a performance art, I write to entertain which means I presume there’s going to be an audience for it. Naturally this also extends to my musical work as well.
At any rate, I’ll continue sharing my work here and wherever – warts and all – and take comfort in the fact that my best is yet to come, particularly in my novel work, which was my impetus for becoming a writer in the first, well, second place.