Pretty much immediately after the Election was “won” by a conman, the interest rates went to hell in the industry I worked in, which was mortgage. When that happens things inevitably get tricky for financial institutions, especially for mortgage companies that have most of their business tied up in refinances rather than purchases. A couple of days after the Election, we received the warning in a mass email of coming hard times. I started noticing a flurry of management meetings and furtive glances around the office by members of the management team. And then, just this past week, a more ominous warning via a mass email came down portending that the next 180 days were going to be severely rocky. In other words, cue the cut backs on staff.
The rest, as they say is history, meaning my employment.
And now I have unexpected free time on my hands due to this unintended vacation. Surely that means there’s more time to read and write, right?
That’s more time to stress over the process of finding new, promising employment in one of the two slowest months in the job market, just prior to the holidays. Christmas and the New Year looms. Who can relax enough to enjoy the escapism of reading? Who can relax enough to be creative? I mean, I have plenty of creative projects to work on, hell, I was just in the middle of developing one with my buddy and artist Jack when this occurred. It’s all inside me, yet there’s this immense blockage that has imposed itself in the middle of the process, uninvited.
My muse has been usurped. As if I need ANY extra distractions, reasons or excuses for not writing fiction. Not since I’ve been a grown, responsible adult have I been able to dive into my fiction during high times of stress and calamity. In the early years as a New Adult, that was an option. When you’re in your 40’s things of non-reality seem to become frivolous diversions from the very real, dire task at hand.
So, yes, there’s cruel irony in my newfound extra time to myself. What I really want to do at this very moment is actually the last thing I am able to bring myself to do. I’m lucky to’ve squeezed out this little missive, all things considered.
After all, there are resumes to update and polish, and job applications to complete. Certainly no fun in that task.
Wish me luck. I’ll need it.